” Testimonies: In Their Own Words: Exploring Suicide Ideation and Despair in MSA Sufferers”

Step into the world of those battling Multiple System Atrophy (MSA), where the veil of anonymity is lifted to reveal the raw and unfiltered voices of real individuals grappling with this relentless disease. Through actual quotes shared on social media platforms, we embark on a journey that lays bare the stark reality of living with MSA. From the depths of despair to moments of fleeting hope, these testimonies offer a poignant glimpse into the challenges faced by MSA sufferers every day. Join me as I navigate the tumultuous waters of terminal illness, guided by the raw authenticity of those who know its toll all too well.

In the realm of social media, amidst the bustling feeds and fleeting updates, lies a haunting narrative of desperation and anguish. These are the voices of those ensnared by the cruel grip of Multiple System Atrophy (MSA), a relentless adversary that robs its victims of their vitality and hope. Let’s explore their harrowing journey, delving into the depths of despair and grappling with the weight of their unspoken struggles.

Imagine feeling so much pain that it’s hard to even think straight. That’s what some people with MSA go through every day. The medicine might help at first, but then the pain creeps back in, making life seem unbearable.

On top of the physical pain, there’s an emotional toll too. It’s like being stuck in a storm of feelings that you can’t escape from. It’s tough to put those feelings into words, so sometimes it feels like you’re drowning in them.

And then there are the thoughts that make everything seem even darker. Some people with MSA think about ending their own lives because they just can’t bear the pain anymore. It’s a scary and lonely place to be.

In the vast expanse of social media, amidst the mundane updates and fleeting moments, lies a profound narrative of resilience and despair. These are the voices of those grappling with the relentless challenges of Multiple System Atrophy (MSA), a condition that casts a shadow over every aspect of life. Let’s delve into their world, exploring their struggles and finding glimpses of hope amidst the darkness.

Pain and Suffering

“I can not wait to see those friends and family that have gone before me. I’ve been fighting for 5 years and didn’t think I’d be here this long.”

These words resonate with a poignant mix of longing and acceptance, reflecting the weariness of a prolonged battle and the yearning for peace. Despite the enduring struggle, there’s a flicker of hope, a belief in something beyond the pain and suffering.

“I am struggling. The pain is unreal in my back muscles. They started me on Nucynta and worked in the beginning but it’s starting to NOT work.”

The raw honesty in this statement cuts deep, exposing the harsh reality of unrelenting pain and the frustration of failed treatments. It’s a cry for help, a plea for understanding in the face of an invisible torment that threatens to consume every waking moment.

“I’m beyond destroyed but find myself so sick that I’m not processing the emotions / news like I want to.”

These words echo the internal turmoil of someone grappling with overwhelming emotions that refuse to be contained. It’s a struggle to make sense of the chaos within, to reconcile the shattered pieces of a once-whole spirit in the midst of relentless suffering.

“I sit and wonder why we need to suffer so bad and so harsh for different symptoms… The only thing I can think is it makes me face death easier…”

In the depths of despair, existential questions arise, probing the very fabric of life and its inherent injustices. It’s a search for meaning in the midst of senseless suffering, a quest for solace in the face of impending mortality.

Suicidal Ideation

“I’m curious, does anyone contemplate suicide over this nasty disease?”

The starkness of this question pierces through the veil of silence, laying bare the profound despair that accompanies the relentless onslaught of MSA. It’s a cry for validation, a plea for understanding in the face of overwhelming suffering and hopelessness.

“I tried and did not succeed… it’s very hard to die from suicide…”

These words echo with a haunting resonance, revealing the depths of desperation that drive some to contemplate the unthinkable. It’s a testament to the indomitable will to escape the suffocating grip of MSA, even at the cost of one’s own life.

“I’ve definitely had thoughts that I’d be better off dead than to continue to deteriorate and to burden my family.”

The weight of these words is palpable, laden with the unbearable burden of witnessing one’s own decline and the toll it takes on loved ones. It’s a heartbreaking admission of defeat, a surrender to the relentless progression of MSA and the toll it exacts on both body and spirit.

“Yes [I have thought of suicide] and here we have assisted dying which I intend to access when it gets too much”

In the face of unfathomable suffering, the prospect of assisted dying emerges as a grim beacon of relief, offering a semblance of control in a world fraught with uncertainty and pain. It’s a desperate plea for respite from the unrelenting torment of MSA, a last resort in the face of insurmountable odds.

Conclusion

As we confront the stark reality of MSA and its devastating impact on those affected, let us not turn away from the voices of despair that echo through the darkness. Instead, let us extend a hand of compassion and understanding, offering solace to those who feel lost in the depths of despair. Together, we can be beacons of hope in the darkest of nights, guiding each other towards the light of a brighter tomorrow.

We can start by reaching out and showing kindness to those who are struggling. Just being there to listen and offer support can make a world of difference. We can also raise awareness about MSA, so more people understand what it is and how it affects people’s lives.

Most importantly, we can remind those battling MSA that they’re not alone. There are people who care about them and want to help them through the tough times. Together, we can be a light in the darkness, guiding each other towards brighter days ahead.

~Coach~



8 responses to “” Testimonies: In Their Own Words: Exploring Suicide Ideation and Despair in MSA Sufferers””

  1. Amazing post. Thank you Coach. Diagnosed with MSA maybe 3 years now. I’m 68, exercising 3 days a week. Symptoms come and go and seem to settle out for now. I’m amazed at how many different effects. None the same it seems. Can’t seem to find anyone in similar stage. All are worse. Thanks for your input.

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    1. Thanks for the compliment Jeff, and thanks for participating in the Community, with this comment 🙂 I like your approach #FuckMSA #BeUnbreakable

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    2. Hello Jeff. My husband was recently diagnosed with MSA. Next month he will be starting a clinical trial. Fingers crossed. He exercises every day with elliptical, knee bends with bands, small weights, a wobbly board for balance and we just got a long grab bar so he can practice his walking heel/toe balance, safely, between the back of the couch and the bar. He walks only with a cane when outside, in the house he does not use anything. He tires easily and his speech can get worse some days. Thermo tabs (salts) seem to help the most so far. He is not on anything except supplements currently and no pain, thankfully.

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      1. Nola, what Clinical Trial is your husband going to be a part of? Maybe we can chronicle and follow it here on the Blog?

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  2. Barbara Flanagan Avatar
    Barbara Flanagan

    Well said coach. I am in my 8th year fighting this beast. I am a retired neurosurgical nurse. When I was dx, first words out of my mouth was I have never heard of this disease before. I thought I knew most of Neurlogical disorders of the brain. Well I must admit this one is a beast with no cure.
    Yes, taking my own life certainly has entered my mine, mostly within the last couple of years.I have just about had every major of symptom of MSA-C. Also had Covid twice. 2 pulmonary embolisms in my right lung, at different times. Only 39% of my diaphram works, on a none invasive ventilator to help move the air in and out of my lungs. I could go on but I know you get the picture. As difficult life is I still am able to walk with help, still can talk but very raspy voice, and only wear the ventilator every night. Night is when my respirations and o2 levels drop. GI system a total mess.
    For now I am not ready to call it a day. My entire career was encouraging my patients not to give up. Many pulled through when many others thought they would not. So I am going to follow my own words. Only God chooses my time to leave my earthly home and bring me home.

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    1. Barbara, I write this blog for all the MSA Warriors, and sometimes I forget I’m one too. Today I was reminded of that fact and I was having a really bad day. Reading your comment brought me back, and reminded me to keep fighting. Your resilience and positive attitude is the inspiration I needed to get through today. Thank you so much ❤

      And thank you for reading and commenting 🙂

      God Bless

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      1. Barbara Flanagan Avatar
        Barbara Flanagan

        You are very welcome. I am here to help in any way I can. One thing I have learn on my journey with MSA is no matter how difficult your day may be, when you wake up you are blessed. You are given another day to think just positive things to start your day. Continue with that thought every day from that point on. Try even on your worse day. Trust me you can slowly see more and more reasons to fight the battle.💜

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